I found a name card in a stack of name cards the other day.
What's odd about this name card is that I don't seem to remember the purpose of the meeting very well, the contents of the meeting very well, nor even the person in question very well.
He being a capital investor does ring a slight bell.
But, not much.
I've seen quite a number of reps from investment companies and capital investment companies during the day, and the fact that I don't remember the person very well means that we probably only had that one meeting, and had nothing- or little- to do with each other from that time onwards.
Ironically what strikes me most about this one meeting was the location.
The person had asked to meet at Jones The Grocer- in Dempsey.
I don't have an issue with Jones The Grocer.
But I do have a strange sort of aversion towards people who insist on meeting at Dempsey, especially when it comes to work meeting.
First up, however, let me say that I don't abhor the place.
I'm okay with it.
The food's good, the ambience's good, it's very alfresco, you get to have nice, quiet chats on garden chairs surrounded by trees and natural foliage and squirrels, plus it's generally family friendly.
It's a place where you can have a glass of good wine, or a late morning brunch.
It's also a place where you might get a bit of live music, but probably not techno nor trance blasting through the doors of their bars and restaurants.
There used to be an ice cream place here.
Ben and Jerry's, was it?
Or was it Haagen Dazc..
It isn't all about the F&B, of course.
There're a couple of good stores- Jones The Grocer with its impeccable selection of fine foods, Dover Street Market (is it still there?) with its fashion, and a few stores offering household charms like carpets, lamps and furniture.
I'm not that unfamiliar with the place.
I'm not averse to the place either.
I just don't like to go there for work meetings in the daytime.
Maybe because Dempsey isnt' one of the most convenient places to go to if you're going by public transport (and I do).
Also maybe because I've found that people who recommend a coffee and chat at this cafe or this cafe at Dempsey sometimes tend to inflate more than what they really are.
How do I say it?
Dempsey- complete with military heritage and all- tends to create an atmosphere that influences the impression of the person or people who lean towards there.
In other words, it's a place you go to when you want to have a quiet conversation, but along with all those quiet conversations come the others who choose the place when they seek to impress someone or when they want to be impressed there.
I'm neither of these things.
I dont' need a British/Continental/ Wall Street environment to make me feel like I'm talking work related stuff.
I don't need a strong cup of coffee in very nice crockery to make me feel like I'm getting things done.
It doesn't matter to me whether or not I'm in such and such an environment.
And because it doesn't matter to me, it doesnt' affect nor influence me how you portray yourself too.
Perhaps it sounds biased, one-sided even, but I've grown a little skeptical about the capabilities of those who insist that they love working in such a cafe culture environment amongst the elite (and successful) emblems of society.
It's as if they were (apologies) riding on the coat tails of those who are genuinely acquainted there.
You can tell.
You can tell they're not of that status- that they're just yearning to be there.
The kind that acclimatize easily there speak in a certain way and talk stuff in a certain way that don't make you feel like they're trying too hard.
You won't find them with a laptop open as they speak to you at the table.
You won't find them making the table their hotdesking spot and you going over (their office) to meet them.
You also won't find them looking like they're working very hard.
It's a natural, comfortable ease for them.
What spikes me are those who (obviously) don't belong there, try really hard to look like they belong there, and yet dont' give insights that prove their mettle nor their worth.
I'm not joking.
It's just a lot of big words, but, nothing solid.
I wouldn't mind so much if it were at least a little bit genuine.
But that, is seldom.
Maybe they've worked too hard to earn their place at the table there.
I dont' know.
I don't give so much a mind if it's personal.
After all, you choose your own life.
But it's a different thing when it's for work.
Every cent counts, every hour counts- and if either one of these be wasted on a circuitous, showy, unproductive, almost meaningless meeting- sorry, I don't fancy.
Let's put it this way.
I do believe in armor.
(Hey I'm a girl- we have a lot of armors)
But there comes a time when you have to be more congruent towards yourself, accept the level that you really are, and learn from the masters- the real business/corporate types- whom- no matter how they dress, where they eat or where they go- they know what is necessary, what is suitable, what works best, and what's a waste of time.
It's very calibrated.
Really.
For me, I sincerely don't mind having a glass of wine or a cup of coffee at Dempsey.
Neither do I mind eating there- if the food's good.
But don't ask me to go there in the middle of the week in the middle of a workday for a meeting that is (only) to your convenience, and which bears no fruit.
We can meet in a neutral space.
Just so you know, I dont' work for you.