Selfies @ A S**tty Time

One thing about me not known to many people is that the s**ttier life is for me, the more selfies I take.

Most people take a selfie when they feel good, when they feel confident, when life is good and well.

I am the opposite.

I take selfies when life is tired, when life is exhausting, when certain aspects of life seem to run in a loop that never seem to end. 

That don't mean I take pictures that have me look dowdy, haggard, unkempt, exhausted, or frumpy. 

It just means that I take selfies of the warpaint that I have on despite the situation I am in. 

Let's just say it is a self encouragement.

Or that it is a reminder that I still have resources and am still trying my best to not spiral, give up and go down. 

I have to admit that it can be hard. 

That life can make it hard to smile, even if it be at yourself, in your own camera, your own lens. 

I have had many, many selfies taken in the first three and a half months this year. In three months the number of selfies I took almost rival the entire collection I took for the whole of last year. 

That's how it has been.

All these pictures you see here now were taken after I'd gone to cut my hair. 

Some I don't look as good, some I look better.

In all of them I tried my best.

Work goes on, life goes on, no matter how you feel, and better that one keep things moving forward- at least there is a feeling of hope (and faith)- than to stagnate. 

Yet sometimes I have to quietly wonder. 

It is a miracle, I tell you, that I look the way I look in these pictures. 

The hair, especially. 

For the longest time I have left it alone, just wash, comb and let it air dry. But now that it has been cut this style from a random salon downstairs- in a poufff way that the lady tells me I am supposed to blow dry- I've got to use one of them Lucido hair waxes to style the tresses.

Took me a bit of a while to figure out how wax is applied but eventually I got it that I wasn't supposed to run the wax through the strands using my fingers but to pull it straight down flat, with water to assist, before, and after. 

The first picture I took when at an office tower in the CBD. We were there as sponsors for a sort of a cooking competition that would be screened online and maybe for TV as well. 

The next few pictures are of a music showcase that I attended at Scape. What's funny is that all through the bus journey there I had attempted nonstop to take a selfie- natural light and all- but failed. It was only after I got to Scape, seated on a bench waiting for the doors to open, that I managed to take these lovely pictures. 

Hair a little frizzy but I'm glad they turned out well. 

There was a picture at the MRT station of Marine Parade.

And then another whole bunch of pictures that I took at the Coffee Bean of Bugis+ whilst waiting for a prospect to come. 

I love the look of these few. 

They were unexpected. Not only had the lights around Coffee Bean cast a beautiful purplish glow over my (greasy, post-caregiving) hair, they had illuminated my (made-up) face with a lovely, smooth glow, making me look prettier and fresher than I actually felt. 

So thankful. 

I'm glad the glitter eyeshadow brightened my look way more than what I felt. 

I'm also glad the long-used concealer still served its purpose. 

Sometimes life really does turn out better when unplanned. 

People always say you should try and try and try until you get it. 

But that hasn't always been the case for me.

On the contrary it is when I give up, stop trying, and do it again at a most unexpected time that the results actually show. 

Maybe this whole selfie thing is a lesson. 

A lesson on giving up, on letting go, on not trying to persevere over and over again when nothing's happening. 

Of course, one never knows when the results will show.

Sometimes you might be in an environment with the same sort of light, but because you don't have the same makeup or the same sort of space, the desired results won't come. 

Tuk Tuk Cha had the lights.

But I was trying to avoid the background of dishes and serving paraphernalia.

So yeah, same same but different. 

Selfies of Early 2026

This was one of those times where I strove to take as many selfies as possible.

Was it because I felt vain?

No.

Was it because I was vain?

Also no.

But it was one of those times where you take the selfie when you're feeling it, or when you've worn the armor to make yourself feel it. 

It's just as well that I'm seeing these pictures now, because, well, I haven't been feeling it for a while. I shan't go into details but let's just say it isn't every day that I feel like I've got everything anchored, moving in direction, confident, and knowing just well I'm going to go. 

Truth be told, I haven't felt it for a long time. 

But one must keep moving forward. 

Because there is no future, there is nothing, if one does not (at least) attempt to go forward. No one extends a hand to someone who is not attempting their best to go ahead and move forward. No one bothers with someone who has not (at least) made a baby attempt to keep moving on. 

Which is where these pictures come in. 

One does not know the future.

One does not know whether or not one will be able to move forward, stagnate, or (I hope not) be held back. 

But to the very least- even as depressing as it sounds- I know I did not miss a moment, nor did I deliberately let the moment pass me by.

These pictures had been taken on different occasions over the course of a single month. 

The first one, if I'm not wrong, had been taken whilst waiting at the seats outside Orchard Central's DDD for my friend who had crossed over to Centerpoint for a tub of Greek style yogurt. 

Second one, very likely, was at some restaurant, maybe in Capitol Theater where we were having a dinner of mala dumplings. 

The next two I know I took at Capitol Theater, at the Punggol Nasi Lemak place whilst waiting for a friend who had gone to one of the salons for a haircut. 

These two pictures I particularly remember- I had gotten tired of looking mature- and dug out the glittery eyeshadow palette NAREE that i had bought from Thailand maybe two years ago from Eve & Boy and still hadn't yet finished. Glittery peach eyeshadow matures me. Glittery white eyeshadow makes me look younger (I think).

And I had decided that day I wasn't going to be mature. 

i seemed to have overdone it though. 

Then, of course, there's the selfie of me on the bus. Can't remember what bus it was, can't remember where I was going, but the hair was fine, the light was good, and I took the picture.

There're a lot more selfies after this one. 

All from the weekend just before Chinese New Year. 

To be honest I had not expected I would take so many. 

But I was feeling (somewhat) pretty on Valentine's Day Saturday- with sea winds tossing my hair- whilst at an event in a rooftop bar 20 floors up an office building down at Shenton Way. 

And I felt prettier when on the eve of Chinese New Year we were at Suntec City for a K-BBQ meal and the natural light up at the Liho near Golden Village was so good. 

Best of all, the hair was great that day. 

As it was for the day after when we headed to Bugis for a lunch at the recently discovered Bugis outlet of Mainland Chinese place Oriental Food. 

Seeing these pictures now, it dawns on me that it is indeed true that accessories and layering can define a look. 

Whether it be a hoodie jacket that you put on (because it's raining), whether it be hoop earrings you decide to wear because it is Chinese New Year Eve and you don't want to be wearing the same flower stud earrings that you put on your ear day on day, or whether it be your eye makeup that for some reason you decide to bounce back to peach glitter instead of the white glitter that you know jolly well makes you look brighter.

Somehow, I wish I always looked this way. 

But that's life. 

You don't always look your best.

You don't always have the space and the opportunity to always look as pulled together as you should to. 

But we try.

We try very hard. 

Even if it be a layer of BB cream, a small square of bronze shaded shimmer makeup, a comb, and a stick of color-changing lip balm. 

Loving Cheetos!

A quick post here just to introduce my new favorite snack.

Cheetos.

Cheetos Crunchy. 

Honestly, never thought I would fall in love with this cheese-flavored snack as much as I do now, but it has now become such that it be the one snack I will now look out for when I am at the supermarket, and it be the one snack that I will want to buy, more so irresistibly when the price falls below the RRP of $5.35. 

Actually, come to think of it, new also not so new. 

At least three, four months already. 

First time I actually paid special attention to this snack was when I was at the shops in Kembangan looking for something to buy for myself. At that time I was trying to decide between the Lays Salted Egg or the Super Ring or the Ruffles. 

But then I spotted this at $4.70.

So pragmatic me bought it.

And guess what...? 

Fell in love at first bite.

Have not changed my mind since. 

Cheetos Crunchy is dangerously addictive. 

Why, exactly, I don't know. 

They might have the puffs, the Hot Cheetos, even the Jalapeno Cheetos, but to date I seem to favor only this one. 

It might be the cheese, the coloring, the additives, the cheese powder, the firmness of the corn crunch- just something that makes it exactly what it is- junk. 

But then so are potato chips, and to be honest, whilst I do appreciate a good flavor of potato chip now and then, I have since bought myself some Lays and some Ruffles and some other brands of potato chips, but I find myself drifting back to Cheetos Crunchy. 

Oriental Food @ CNY

It would be good, really good, if we got to eat at Oriental Food a bit more often. 

She has, after all, become one of my new favorite places when it comes to Mainland Chinese food. 

It's not that I know how to appreciate all the dishes that Oriental Food has on their menu- some of them are pretty much what you'd have if you really knew the cuisine of the provinces- but whatever I do know, I appreciate, and genuinely like. 

We actually hadn't planned to come here. 

But it so happened that we were walking towards Bugis from the 57 bus stop (after coming down from Toa Payoh) and because the route cut through Liang Seah Street, we thought we'd have our CNY meal there. 

It's one thing to pre-book a meal at a fancy restaurant.

It's another thing to chance upon one that is open and bounce in, for no other reason than the fact it was open, and welcoming to diners. 

That was the assurance, and joy which Oriental Food Bugis gave us. 

This being Chinese New Year we decided we'd order all our favorite dishes. 

So it was that these three appeared on our table. 

Seeing them now, I realize these three were the very ones which we had the first time we ate at their Bedok outlet- and which we had come to like ever since. 

They're not complicated. 

A plate of Sweet and Sour Pork.

A plate of Salted Egg Deep Fried Pumpkin

A plate of beef and lamb skewers. 

I don't know what their actual names are. I just know what I'm eating. 

The sweet and sour pork, for instance, is one of the best variations I have ever had here in Singapore. Where at some places the meat is hard and dry and simply laden with a sauce that doesn't taste good, or where, at other places, the meat is just chewy with fat and no meat at all, the ones here at Oriental Food are so good that they bring me straight back to the first time I ate it when I was 5. 

Impressions stay with you. 

So does a dish whose taste immediately, literally, brings you back to your childhood birthday dinner at Sam Leong Restaurant when aged 5. 

I had my first taste of sweet and sour pork there. 

This dish brought me back. 

It isn't just the sweetness itself, although, yes, it does play a part. 

But it is the meat. 

The meat is something I appreciate and enjoy. There is not the extreme of hard, tough meat difficult to chew. There is also not the extreme of fat that is, if I may say, not meat at all. 

It don't matter whether it be the sweet and sour pork at Bedok, or the one here at Bugis. 

Both taste just as good. 

Same too for the Pumpkin. 

It's never easy for me to decide whether to order this dish or not. 

Not because it's not appetizing but because I'm never sure whether or not I can finish all the pumpkin. 

There is a lot on this plate- one big heap of them sticks cut into rectangular shapes. 

Never has there been a time where I have not wanted to reach for another piece after eating the first one. 

Never too has there been a time where I get sick of eating all the pumpkin.

The salted egg makes it absolutely a wonderful dish to savor.

I remember the first time we had it. 

Back then I was skeptical, not knowing whether or not it would be a good one- I didn't want one laden with salted egg sauce like I had seen some other places do. 

But it came dry, crisp, full of flavor, and had the perfect balance of sweet and salty which neither side overwhelmed. 

The last dish we ordered this afternoon were the skewers. 

What it were marinated with, I have no idea, but I think there was a bit of chili powder, and maybe some cumin.

Whichever it were, there was no heatiness after eating the skewers, there was no hot, uncomfortable feeling inside the mouth, and best of all, eating them directly off the skewers was incredibly fun. 

Every piece was well grilled, full of flavor, and enjoyable as a bite size. 

You know, looking at these pictures now, I'm glad. 

The CNY of 2026 could have been better, but hey, at least, I loved what I ate, I loved where I ate- none of these dishes were ordinary- and I had fun. 

Last Selfies of 2025

You know, there are still a good number of posts that I have to write for the year of 2025- I am not yet done with them- but I recently just transferred the last of the 2025 selfies over from the phone to here, so, hey, might as well. 

It is with a bit of a strange feeling that I look at the following pictures. 

Not so much of being what they are, but of the stories that make them. 

I usually tend to go light with my makeup. 

Doesn't matter if I have a meeting, I don't go bare faced once I head towards downtown. 

So that's how it was for the first few selfies, that's how it was for the selfies with me in the big Platinum-Pratunam T-shirt, and that's how it was for me in the last red sweatshirt piece that I had bought from Bugis Street almost 7 years ago and had finally dug it up now. 

The first two selfies I had taken from this dining place somewhere at Capitol Theater. I can't remember what it was we had gone there for. Maybe we had been hanging around the area to file something at the High Court. Maybe we had been around the area because my friend had something to do or someone to meet and I was there killing time. 

In any case, it was a Mainland-style place that we found ourselves at for our dinner, and whilst I won't be posting the pictures of the food here, I know we had a dish of smooth, silky dumplings, a deep fried battered pork fillet, and a bowl of soup that was simple in name (mushroom) but incredibly clear in texture, rich in flavor, and refreshing on the palate. 

There is me here in the large T-shirt that I bought from Platinum Mall in Pratunam and which I wear whenever I need to be comfortable. 

Like today where I was on the bus heading down to Aperia Mall, and which, if I'm not wrong, was Bus 31, although, really, I should have taken Bus 12 on the East Coast side rather than this one here the Marine Parade side. 

Nevertheless, the light was good, and so, from the back row of the bus, these shots I got. 

What's funny, though, is that I can't remember where the last picture was taken. 

I know I took it on 31st December, I know I was clad in the red sweatshirt that I had found in the cupboard (whilst doing the move) and track pants, but I don't remember where I'd gone or where I'd snapped this shot. 

What's more, the floor, and the furniture behind don't seem to leave much of a clue! 

Oh well, doesn't matter. 

However it was- despite the months of what it had been leading up to the 31st- I still looked enough. 

And that was good for me. 

Of course, the most memorable selfies here have to be of me clad in the blue-grey linen top that I'd purposely worn for the early-morning BNI meeting at Chui Huay Lim Club on River Valley Road. 

So rare is it for me to be able to pay a visit to a place of heritage and culture like this that I just had to grab a selfie.

But adrenaline was running high that morning, my hair for some reason didn't look too smooth, and the lighting where I sat needed a bit of creative angling on my part before I could look presentably well. 

More Selfies

I have- all of a sudden- been taking more and more selfies.  

Not for any reason save for the fact that the s**ttier I feel, the more tired I feel, the more makeup I put, the more selfies I take. 

It's one thing to look and feel confident.

It's another thing to try look pulled together and able to go about your day when your mind doesn't let you feel the same way. 

Thank God then for such things as skin tint, foundation, eye shadow, color changing lip balm and fragrance mist. These little babies aren't just cosmetics. They're an arsenal of modern-day corporate female ammo. 

Did I feel better after that? 

Maybe, maybe not. 

The one thing I knew- at least- was that I didn't look like s***.

These selfies confirm that. 

In some of them I feel okay, some of them I wish I were feeling better. 

But that's life. 

It is life that you attire yourself in black Uniqlo tee and black cardigan and plonk on a face of makeup because you need to look presentable as you go tell a person of legal authority you have reasonable ground to not withdraw a particular suit. 

It is life too that a week later, despite having your hair odd-shaped because of static (or something) you wear the same arsenal and go meet a person whom you hope to work with for a project that you know is your expertise and will boost portfolios. 

One of the pictures here I snapped when I was on the patio upstairs. 

Probably one of the mornings where I had to make myself push through things rather than dropping into despair. 

I don't think I ever have had to hype myself up as much as I have done in the mornings past, and this particular selfie- with me still in my brown Decathlon pajamas T-shirt- was one of them. 

You can see the bedhead anyway.

When it was that I took the last selfie I don't know. 

Funny thing is that I'm quite sure it didn't happen very long ago. 

Very likely it was either at a Starbucks or a restaurant or someplace where the lighting was particularly bright. 

But yeah definitely I had the ammunition on, I had the lip balm on, some color on my eyelids and my cheeks and all I can say is that I'm uber glad my hair was good that day. 

It not always is! 

Lunch @ Changi Airport

A month or so ago I found myself alone at Changi Airport.  

At other times it might have been a pleasant experience.

I, after all, do have a thing for Changi Airport, her shopping mall of a JEWEL, and all her terminals. 

But today was a day that I wish I didn't need to be alone, and whilst that's how life is, still I wish I too could have gone along, or better yet, that Hedgehog didn't need to go. 

Me being me however, I tried to make the best use of it, and so, after waving him off at the Immigration, headed straight to the staff canteen of Terminal 2 for a long-awaited lunch. 

Now you might find it surprising that I wanted in particular to eat at this one staff canteen, but let's just say that we all have our memories, we all have images in our head that even years later we haven't let go, and sometimes we try to recreate. 

Coming to the Terminal 2 staff canteen however was a real reminder that life doesn't wait, that things change, and whilst you might hope to have back the same thing as you once did, well, it's not like that anymore. 

The canteen has changed. 

No more is the place a white fluorescent canteen-looking kind of place, today the canteen has transformed itself to look more like a food court for just about everybody and anybody to have their meal in. 

The selections of stalls too have become different. 

Yes, you have the usual plethora of mixed economy rice, chicken rice, wanton noodles, nasi padang, briyani and a host of other foods, no question about that, but there're more these days in the nature of specific foods rather than generic ones, so whilst you will still get the favorites of fishball noodles and chai tow kuay, there'll also be malatang and other specialties. 

I had come here for char kuay teow this afternoon. 

A memory I had hoped to recreate. 

But things don't always happen your way, and I don't know how it is but even though I had really wanted the white version, somehow the staff at counter convinced me that the black version would be nicer, and I said ok to that. 

It was nice, make no mistake, but to be honest, I really ought to have stood my ground. 

Like, if white char kuay teow was what I wanted, why didn't I just stick to my balls and insist on white kuay teow? Not as if they would charge me different anyway. 

But I guess maybe some memories are not meant to be recreated- you can't go back to what it had been last time- so here I was, at the table nearest the stall, armed with my bottle, my book that I'd found from one of the drawers, and my plate of noodles. 

So huge the plate was that I couldn't finish. 

But I guess I can tell myself that it had been done. 

All these years, all this time, with the memory of The Parents and I at this particular canteen, I'd come back. 

Alone. 

Selfies of 2024, 2025

Would you believe it that I have not posted a single article of me and my selfies for the whole entirety of this year and last? 

That for the year of 2024 and (now ending) 2025 I have not written a single piece compiling all the selfies that I took during the course of the year? 

Goodness.

I cannot believe it myself.

That has never happened before. 

But, better late than never, I suppose (since it's already happened).

So, here goes. 

What makes this series of pictures interesting that whilst I can remember at where I took some of them, there are those that I don't seem to remember. 

Its like, I can recall myself taking the first selfie at MBS, the second selfie at the Coffee Bean on Sentosa Island near the Beach Station, the third selfie on the staircase of Steppyhouse near the patio upstairs, I cannot, for the life of me, remember where I was when I snapped the picture of me in the white hoodie jacket. 

One of the nicer pictures to boot, some more. 

Fortunately my memory isn't that bad, thank God. 

There's a shot of me in my pink T-shirt with a window (and hints of greenery) in the background. From the picture it looks like I'm comfortable. What you don't know, however, is how many angles I attempted before getting this perfect one. This picture too doesn't show me sitting on the carpeted floor of the hotel room in BKK, concealed behind the sheer curtain shade so that I don't get any odd shadows falling on me. 

Why so determined to get the picture, you ask. 

I'd just bought a new liquid foundation from Eve & Boy. 

Meetings and occasions are perfect reasons to take selfies, by the way, and although I don't always find myself in the frame of mind to do it, here in the year of 2024, there are at least two.  

There's the one in my grey top. 

There's also the one in my red top. 

The grey top was taken at Centrepoint in Orchard Road an hour or so before going up to Clementi where my colleague was doing a press interview. 

The red top, on the other hand, was taken at a Starbucks in BKK's Ploenchit Center where I was meeting an Englishman who had been made Thailand his decades-long home. 

There are other pretty pictures from 2024 too. 

I don't know where I took the one with me in my big Pratunam T-shirt. It might have been shot in BKK. It might also have been shot at the Dalkomm Coffee outlet in Marina Square where I'd gone for a late afternoon snack with a friend. 

I also don't know where I took the orange tinted me in my pink T-shirt. From the looks of it, with the flowers at the back, it might have been the lobby of Conrad Centennial Hotel in Marina Bay where I sometimes went for a sit and make a phone call. 

These are some of the pictures I have vague memories of.

But some pretty pictures I can recollect very well.

Like the one of me in my white doggy T-shirt looking so beautifully at the camera. 

I had been at the lobby of Hotel Jen Orchard Gateway where sunlight is 360, the tint (depending on the clouds) is occasionally soft, and where you can take pictures in one of the most naturally-lit places around town. 

After this comes the selfies of 2025, up to today November, that is. 

Someone commented recently that I seem to look a tad fiercer this year. 

Guess what, seeing these now, I have to agree.

We're already in November- and whilst I hold on to hope things will get better very, very soon- in some ways, 2025 could have been happier. 

That being said, I am the sort who will take pictures as and when life happens, whatever life might be.

To me it doesn't matter whether or not I smile. 

It does matter that I tried; that I gave it a shot, and I hope it will all be well. 

So right on top- at the beginning of this year, actually- there's a picture of me in a big lilac-colored waffle T-shirt which I took sitting at MOS Burger in NEX Shopping Mall, and given that outfit, given that day, I was probably feeling tired, drained, and waiting to go for dinner. 

After that, somewhere further down, there's another picture of me, this time in a green hiking camo T-shirt bought from Decathlon just after finishing a morning phone call out on the patio. 

Other pictures have me wearing one of my new favorite T-shirts bought from Pratunam last year wearing a earring that I evidently wanted to show in the picture, and of me wearing a grey top. 

I don't remember where I was when I wore the Pratunam T-shirt. It might have been Vivocity. It might have been elsewhere. 

But the one of me in the grey top I know I had snapped at the Starbucks in Bugis+ an hour or two before bringing a bag of lavender-scented face mists up to an entertainment karaoke place on the 7th floor as part of a collaboration between our company, and theirs. 

That made for one of the business selfies to be had this year, with the other seeing me in a dove-blue linen suit (also bought from Pratunam) quickly taking a picture whilst seated at a coffee place in Thomson Plaza just moments before the prospect client came. 

I'm glad for some of these pictures, really.

They remind me how beautiful I am, how beautiful I can be. 

Just so long as the light is good, doesn't matter whether I'm seated somewhere, or on a bus, like one of the pictures that has my skin looking surprisingly soft and my orange glitter eyeshadow perfectly blended and put on. 

Don't laugh. 

It's not always that we get surprised by how we look. 

Especially mine is sometimes a hit and miss and I don't always look this way. 

But I try- even if the hair's not obedient, and even if I haven5't gotten enough sleep as a result of a flu-bugged cough that kept me the whole night awake. 

I'm at a special place- a steak place down at Capitol Theater- and I want to make sure I have a selfie to remember myself there. 

Perhaps that's what life is. 

Taking pictures of ourselves at all moments, whether we be at home, whether we be on a bus, at a restaurant, at a Starbucks, or at another Starbucks with the wind blowing our hair right across our face.