There are some views of Tan Tock Seng Hospital that Miss Brown doesn't like to see.
This is one of them.
It isn't because the building reminds her of the physiotherapy or the occupational therapy sessions that she had to go through thrice weekly. They were okay. They were beneficial, and at one time, she was really proud of having gone through them.
It isn't also because it reminds her of the acupuncture sessions that she had to go through even though she was terrified and tense throughout it all. Bad experience it might have been, but no, that's not why either.
It is a view she tries to avoid, because the sight of the building, and the sight of the trees remind her of the row of chairs beneath that she and her adopted daughter used to sit on as they waited for her primary caregiver to arrive before going up for therapy.
Now, that memory, by all accounts, should have been a pleasant one, what else can it be if it is of mother and daughter sitting companionably side by side, except that it did not last long, and when it did end, it was abrupt, cold, and distant.
This is one of them.
It isn't because the building reminds her of the physiotherapy or the occupational therapy sessions that she had to go through thrice weekly. They were okay. They were beneficial, and at one time, she was really proud of having gone through them.
It isn't also because it reminds her of the acupuncture sessions that she had to go through even though she was terrified and tense throughout it all. Bad experience it might have been, but no, that's not why either.
It is a view she tries to avoid, because the sight of the building, and the sight of the trees remind her of the row of chairs beneath that she and her adopted daughter used to sit on as they waited for her primary caregiver to arrive before going up for therapy.
Now, that memory, by all accounts, should have been a pleasant one, what else can it be if it is of mother and daughter sitting companionably side by side, except that it did not last long, and when it did end, it was abrupt, cold, and distant.
To this day, as and when Miss Brown thinks of it, she cannot comprehend why it is that her daughter upped and left the house as she did when she thought they were all happily living in. What was it, Miss Brown still wonders, did she do, or not do?
It wasn't because her girl had no claim to the place. She had a small stake in the house. It wasn't because her girl missed her lover and hence wanted to go live together. She had allowed her daughter so much leeway that she and her boyfriend had already been sleeping comfortably on the thick mattress in the medium sized room for one and a half years. And it wasn't because the three of them weren't happy living together. They had gone shopping for groceries and household needs together. They had gone on walking trips to MacRitchie Reservoir and Hort Park together. They had enjoyed many meals at restaurants and coffee shops together.
There was no way her adopted daughter and boyfriend could have been unhappy living together in the same house as her. Why then, after one and a half years, did she really move out, and less than three months after her stroke, to boot!
Thinking back on the row of chairs, Miss Brown cannot figure out what it was that made her adopted daughter quit the routine that they had so carefully created together.
Was it because it was too troublesome making a detour to the hospital instead of driving straight to the office? Did her daughter not like taking the train to work from the hospital even though it was a mere three stops away? Or was it because, as someone surreptitiously told her, her daughter wanted to go upstairs and create trouble with the therapist in charge but she was not permitted to...?
And even if it might have been a bit more effort, Miss Brown was sure that the fetching couldn't be as troublesome as she assumed it might e, because even after they moved out, the boyfriend still swung by on the designated days to drive her to the hospital.
So if it wasn't this, or that, then what exactly was it?
What was it that made them decide to move out from the home that they had been happily staying together for so long? It was a terrible blow to her when her daughter told her she would be shifting out. There was no convincing. The girl just would not stay. There was so much she wanted to tell her. Like the fact that she had yearned for years for her daughter to come stay with her in the home as they had once did in their maisonette family home. Like the fact that her harsh words were really ones out of love.
But the girl left.
She and her man.
Miss Brown thought her daughter would still come back on the scheduled days and accompany her to the hospital. What was it that made her decide that her presence was not needed and that her boyfriend would drive her there alone?
And wat was it that made them decide to stop driving her to the hospital altogether?
They've never really explained it all to her.
So she doesn't understand.
And neither does she really know.