An experience as I have had does not leave me unscathed.
If there be someone who can take a hot shower, sleep for three days, pick themselves up in a matter of a week, and then bounce back to life as good as new, well, I sincerely take my hat off to them.
Because even though it has been close to three weeks since it all happened, there is still the clean-up, there is still the aftermath, there are still the ongoing pressures and the future pressures, and life has to go on whether one wants to dwell in the memories or not.
Herein lies the struggle, I'd say, for even as I try to move on and resume life's pace, in the last one week or so, there have been startling, shocking reminders of events that transpired, and the emotional aspects of the memories are all as fresh as the very first day when it all began
There must be a clinical term for it, I guess, but for me, I'll just define it as having some sort of emotional shock and trauma, and just leave it there.
At this stage, definitions don't mean very much to me.
What matters to me is that I'm truly tired, and I'm not afraid to say it, for I don't recall the last time I was this tired, and maybe it might be due the fact that I am someone who tends to think too much and feel too much, but that's how it is for me right now.
One good thing is that I no longer break out in trembling tears or let out primal screams, but I still quietly cry at the semblance of the memory, and honestly, from moment to moment, there is still the fear.
If there be someone who can take a hot shower, sleep for three days, pick themselves up in a matter of a week, and then bounce back to life as good as new, well, I sincerely take my hat off to them.
Because even though it has been close to three weeks since it all happened, there is still the clean-up, there is still the aftermath, there are still the ongoing pressures and the future pressures, and life has to go on whether one wants to dwell in the memories or not.
Herein lies the struggle, I'd say, for even as I try to move on and resume life's pace, in the last one week or so, there have been startling, shocking reminders of events that transpired, and the emotional aspects of the memories are all as fresh as the very first day when it all began
There must be a clinical term for it, I guess, but for me, I'll just define it as having some sort of emotional shock and trauma, and just leave it there.
At this stage, definitions don't mean very much to me.
What matters to me is that I'm truly tired, and I'm not afraid to say it, for I don't recall the last time I was this tired, and maybe it might be due the fact that I am someone who tends to think too much and feel too much, but that's how it is for me right now.
One good thing is that I no longer break out in trembling tears or let out primal screams, but I still quietly cry at the semblance of the memory, and honestly, from moment to moment, there is still the fear.