Name Card *Dangers*

So, I've been thinking a while just how I should go about this. 

It's not really a topic that needs writing. 

Neither is it a topic that needs urgent addressing.

But it's been on my mind for a while, and since I found these name cards whilst digging through the box, well, why not?

Before that, however, you must know that I (actually) haven't been meeting people for that long a time. 

There are people in this world who can claim they meet new people every month, every week, every day. 

I'm not one of them. 

But I am one of those whom- when we meet- will do her best to remember you- and attempt to forge a friendship with you.

Some people whom I've met only once (at networking events) have become Facebook acquaintances. 

Others have become friends. 

And others still have become business partners. 

I'm always thankful to develop a relationship or a friendship with people around me. 

I, however, do get a little compartmentalized from time to time. 

In that sense... I'm pretty clear who it is I want to meet, who it is I don't mind meeting, and who it is I don't want to meet at all. 

Most people I've met fall within the two categories. 

But there're some whom I don't care and will not care to meet at all. 

It isn't because they're mean-spirited, obnoxious, arrogant or harsh in their words. 

It's that. they're people who seem to spend their time putting their hands into every pot they come across, scooping out as much as they can for themselves, hoping maybe, even to take the entire pot for themselves. 

I don't know what their agenda is. 

I really don't. 

Perhaps this is what some people term as 'business'. 

But I sincerely don't think so. 

See, there're many ways to conduct a business. 

Getting yourself involved just so you can break the business down in the name of 'mentorship' is not one. 

Of course I might be mistaken. 

After all, it's not like their intentions were right in my face.

If there's one thing you must know about people like such, it's that they're very warm and cordial when they interact with you. They're almost like a sister, an aunt, a brother, an uncle. In their tone is a warmth that denotes charisma, knowledge and experience, even care, and they make it like they are genuinely interested in you.

From time to time they may offer you a mixed bag of beautifully worded praises with suggestions and gently-put constructive comments. 

The whole idea is to make you feel like they have the expertise, the experience, the connections, and that they can be trusted.

It's easy to feel that way with them- it's true. 

I met this person once- let's call him/her W. 

At first meeting W seemed a little surprised that I had brought my (male) colleague with me. I guess he/she was used to my fellow female compatriots coming for coffee chats and first meetings alone.

Not I.

I endeavor not to attend meetings alone. 

That one conversation with W led to another, led to another, and it wasn't long before we were introduced to (A LOT) of other people.  

Amongst all these people there were a couple of locals, but there were also several from other places elsewhere. 

I don't recall what their professions were, but they were a myriad group, and they seemed to be involved in a wide range of things- technology, charity causes, fashion, art galleries and the like. 

I shant say that it felt awkward- making new (business) connections and developing them are a necessity- but as I went around the various groups at various points in time, it felt like there were a lot of straws in different lengths and different colors, and most of us were fiddling about the pile, trying to decide what to do with  each other, and with them. 

I don't think I spoke to them very much during these conversations- W held chair most of the time- but some of them looked like they were just out to meet people, network and interact. 

The modus operandi of W wasn't very clear back then. 

It, however, started showing (hints) of itself a couple of months later with an increase in mutual involvement.

I'm not someone who doesn't understand the nature of a middleman's business. 

At least- in a little way- I do. 

Very often it is assumed that a middleman who stands in the center of two (or all) will want all sides to partner well so gains from all sides can be made.

Not necessarily so. 

Vulnerability is a game changer. 

Vulnerability makes one attempt to play both sides (if not, all) in the hope that influencing one's perspective- however positive or negative- will create a reaction and thereby affect the relations which will then need the presence of the middleman further. 

Technically it's not wrong (because otherwise what is the middleman going to do)

But I wonder if it is possible for the middleman to play a positive role on all sides and gain anchor by using one's solution for the other and blending the other's solution for the one. 

Maybe it's naive. 

But it's not impossible.

After all we don't live in a perfect world and there'll always be problems (from the solutions, even) surfacing out somewhere. 

I do agree that such tactics are not new. 

And such tactics are the day to day in many major circles as well. 

Sometimes tactics like these bear positive fruit. 

Sometimes, however, these tactics lead to seed that never even springs forth a shoot. 

Let's just say that it gets very annoying when you start to see that the presence of the middleman doesn't always befit the ones whom they say they are connecting. 

I might be wrong. 

But I don't think I am.

First hand experience doesn't lie. 

The attempts were performed right in your face- whether it were throwing a paper down, whether it were siding with other persons involved in the project, whether it were giving advice that would (prayerfully) lead to eventual loss, and whether it were (pretending) to side with one whilst being hunky-dory with the other.

Perhaps I'd never have seen it so clear had I not happened to be a late-night document courier at the very last minute. 

Seeing it didn't surprise me. 

But I didn't know I would see it either. 

The scariest thing about such name card holders isn't just  the arenas that they're involved in.

The scariest thing about them is that they're continuously searching for arenas, continuously attempting to be in arenas which they have (very) little understanding of, and displacing one for the other just so that they can have a place in the center of it.

Is there a need to be involved in so many different things? 

Is there a need to hold so many directorships or to be directors of so many different firms in so many different industries? 

Especially since the presence of your directorship isn't to grow the company but (possibly) to control, manipulate and destroy it? 

I don't know just how many more firms your presence has been of detriment rather than benefit. 

But- I'm thankful to say- you didn't get everyone's

Not because they're fantastic or because their personnel is more calculative than you. 

But because not everyone and not everything can be achieved by mere calculation. 

Sometimes one needs to be hardball. 

Sometimes one needs a leg up to keep things moving or effect growth for (positive) change. 

Not to mention, there are also young entrepreneurs who can do with good mentorship. 

But, seriously, I raise an eyebrow when I look at the various name cards and realize that almost none of them have sprouted, or reached the potential they possibly could be. 

And I raise the eyebrow even higher when I recollect the many who's who names that have- in the course of conversation- been thrown down. 

We're often told that the big like to eat up the small. 

But chaos theory doesn't only apply to the small. 

It applies to the big too. 

And it has zero respect for all the work that has ever been done nor the struggles that the big have had to go through. 

Question is- who's the executor of this theory, and just why? 

I'm not sure W planned to just take a slice of pumpkin pie, coconut pie, or a slice of potato pie and go have ice cream on his/her own.

I think W planned to smash up all the pies, take the crumbs of the pastry, the bits of pumpkin, coconut and potato, distribute them to make smaller, less tasty pies of unrecognizable shape, and offer them back to the now-crumbled pie makers at a much inflated price.

Perhaps that's business. 

But thing is, the potato pies weren't that bad. 

And of course, not the coconut pies either.