Sunday, 12 July 2020

Selfies 2020








These pictures have been sitting in my phone for at least half a year. 

I should know- I know that I took a heck lot of selfies after having gone to rebond my hair at the salon late last year. 

What I didn't know, however, was that even though I had all these pictures in my phone, I actually hadn't transferred them over, and so hadn't written about them at all. 

Imagine my shock, therefore, when I found out that the last time I'd written about my face and my selfies was in the July of last year. 

We're in the July of this year. 

Which means, I have not written about my selfies for ONE WHOLE YEAR. 

And I write a lot here some more. 

But the date doesn't lie, and so I have to ashamedly accept the fact that, yes, for twelve whole months I really did fail to write about what is a very important and very personal topic to me. 

Selfies, to me, are a confidence booster. 

Especially if you're someone who isn't photogenic and who thinks she doesn't look pretty in pictures at all. 

Now, it might be that I don't know how to pose, how to smile, how to look natural, how to this, how to that, but the fact is I'm camera shy, and I get nervous when the lens is trained on me. 

It's not that I don't practice. 

I do- with the mirror at home. 

But there goes whatever I've rehearsed the moment the time comes to take a picture. 

Once I'm told to gather together for a group shot, or even "let's take a wefie", right away I forget which angle works best for me, I forget how I should smile, I forget everything, and in the end, all that comes out of the final picture is a lopsided, awkward looking, goofy-faced me. 

It's fine if you're body-confident and you love what you see in the mirror.

I don't always do. 

Like most women, I do get insecure about my looks. I do have days that I can't "rock it", and I do have days that I can't "go get it gurl". 

There are the days where I don't like what I see in the mirror, and there are the days when I feel like s*** and think I look like s*** as well.

But that's where the beauty of selfies come in. 

Because it is these little portraiture style pictures of myself that, over time, will become an album which I can refer to when my confidence is ebbing and my self-esteem is down in the dumps. 

On days that I look good I take a selfie. 

On days that I don't look so good I also try to take a selfie.

And I don't stop until I get a good one. 

Just so that I can in all times and in all circumstances remind myself that I am always beautiful because I AM ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL.