It is now a very different me whom looks at this picture that I found tucked between the pages of an old spiral notebook whilst clearing out the drawers.
No, I do not speak with regret.
The years have passed.
I have come through.
There is nothing to be regretted.
It must be said, however, that incidents, especially those of the unexpected kind, do make you grow in many ways.
Sometimes you seek the growth.
Sometimes it just comes to you.
I'll tell you the truth.
I didn't know how to write this post.
Rather, I didn't know what to write.
Was it appropriate to write about the time where I worked at an office under a block of flats in a heartland neighborhood, and whose window in the picture I was leaning upon?
Was it appropriate to write about the events of the intervening years which has made a paradigm shift of the world?
Could I write about the difficulty in anchoring oneself to your root personality despite the ups and downs that life brings you?
Could I even write about the ups and downs?
I wanted to.
But 16 years is a long time and I don't want to make this post like a sort of chronicle (over a single picture)
So let's just say that the person of today is very different from the person of yesteryear.
The hair's longer these days.
The smile's also different.
And on a regular workday I'm clad more in Tshirts and hoodies than office blouses, office skirts and office pants.
There is no longer a need for me to dial down on the accessories.
I can go loud, I can go soft, or I can go none at all.
The hierarchy has reversed.
Along with the reversal come the responsibilities and perspectives that the switch requires.
If you ask me, the greatest change between those years and now has to be the attitude towards the world, and the world that I live in.
It is not a choice.
Besides the fact that the world has changed (hello smartphones, selfies, apps, social networks, and greater mobility) there are positions and perspectives that I have to hold firm if I wish to stay on this road that I chose to go on.
There are times that call for a heightened sense of cynicism.
There are times that call for a more critical eye.
It is no longer possible for me to see situations and people the same way I once used to.
Is that a bad thing?
Not necessarily.
After all, humans are complex beings with complex mentalities, complex emotions and complex desires that sometimes lead to complicated behaviors.
And not everything you see is everything there is.
Except that whilst I had to be more open (so to speak), give more space (so to speak) and be less judgmental (so to speak) at an earlier time, today my life fits less into the (expected) framework, and I find myself needing to call out bulls*** from time to time.